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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

springview

by Mac Brazel

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1.
send me a postcard or write me a letter. i'm not doing great but i'm taking drugs to get better. i've been drinking a lot, ain't been smoking much pot because that shit makes me freak out. i've got so much anxiety i can't breathe from the clutter of shit that you left inside of me gnawing at my spine. your jaws clenched on my pride, these teeth marks that i hide. so i'm putting up defenses, white picket defenses. i'm leaving on the porch light. i collapsed in the hallway, just like my ceiling on that night we drank til sunrise.
2.
i feel the need to apologize for the busted walls and the 3am drunken phone calls. because i swear you paved a perfectly good path to settle that i just rode my skateboard over and littered with beer bottles. i thought if i cried until i puked i could pass the blame for people leaving, but it was always mine it was a dent in time that just wouldn't buff out. so you can have whats next but save it for the rest. i'm not going to get out. because now i'm old enough to bruise and my skateboard rotted right in two and the broken glass is piling up over my head. but i'm not searching for sympathy, i'm just settling in. i don't want to be set free, i'm just settling in. i'm just holding my own hand as i fall through the cracks in my bed.

credits

released August 16, 2012

written and preformed by dorian park
produced by ben barnett

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Mac Brazel Wilmington, North Carolina

My name is Dorian.

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